In my unquenchable thirst for Knowledge, I decided to follow Sri Sri around for awhile. I wanted to become whatever he was. I went wherever he went, laughed whenever he laughed, sat wherever he sat, and just plain hung around him. Maybe, I just might get IT! (Whatever “it” was.)

I followed him to a retreat in Canada. It was beautiful, and about 200 people showed up. Some of the regulars had spent a lot of time with him. I decided to be one of the in-crowd and began to follow him around.

Wherever he ended up, I made it my business to be there. If he stuck his head out, even for an instant, I was there; smiling, making chit-chat and waving. When the evening meetings were held, I made sure I sat in the front row, so he would see me with all the others that longed to be just like him.

One day, as I was waiting for him to come out of his cottage, I felt an acute attack of boredom. Here I was, waiting to see one of the greatest sages I’d ever met, and I was just plain bored. “What am I doing?” I thought. “Haven’t I learned anything yet? My knowledge isn’t inside of Him. It’s inside of me. If I want to gain love, it’s going to have to come from inside of me, not from following around the ‘form’ of love.” I felt a voice say, “The kingdom of heaven is within you. Look there.”

I quickly ran back to my cabin and sat down to meditate. When I finished, I naturally went into silence. I’d talked quite a bit on this course. Now, it was time to listen.

When I went to the evening meeting, I moved my backrest to the back of the hall. “Let someone else enjoy sitting near him,” I thought. I didn’t need the proximity anymore. After all, it was all inside of me.

During the evening, people began to sing bhajans (devotional songs) and dance. I sat in silence, enjoying them quietly. As I looked around the room everyone seemed so unbearably beautiful, I could hardly breathe. A tender wave of compassion and love washed over me.

“Dear Lord,” I prayed, “I can’t stand the beauty and I can’t stand the pain. What am I going to do? It’s all so unendurable.” With that thought, tears of compassion, relieving my predicament, began to flow.

When I calmed down, I saw Sri Sri sitting in meditation. He looked so royal and elegant, I could barely endure his radiance. What good was he anyway? Just an image of the Divine. All my staring wasn’t going to rub off and bring me closer to God. I’d have to do it myself – and go inside.

After the meeting (it was more like a celebration), I felt empty. I didn’t know what to do. Usually I went back to his cottage, to see if he’d come out. Tonight it seemed foolish, so I went back to my cabin. After awhile, I realized I wasn’t tired and couldn’t fall asleep, so I decided to go for a walk in the direction of his cottage.

As I walked by, I saw a group of people sitting on a bench just outside his door. There was room for one more, so I sat down in silence. Someone noticed how quiet I was and asked incredulously, “Are you in silence?” I felt a little foolish since most of the time I can’t stop talking.

“Yes,” I nodded as they playfully continued to chide me. “Dvorah’s in silence.” They laughed. “This must be a special night.”

I closed my eyes and continued my silence. I felt very peaceful, not caring what happened. Suddenly the door opened. There was Sri Sri holding a box of sweets. “Prasad?” (a sweet offering), he asked. “Oh, yes,” everyone gleefully answered, “Yes.”

I opened my eyes just as he began putting sweets in everyone’s waiting hands. As he walked by, he would occasionally call people by name.

“Oh, my God,” I innocently thought. “He’s actually going to give me a sweet. How wonderful!”

I held my hands open, cupped near my forehead, and sat patiently. When he approached where I was sitting, he stopped. I heard someone on the sidelines jokingly say, “Dvorah’s in silence. She’s not talking today.”

His eyes opened in a feigned expression of surprise. “Really?” he asked curiously. “How amazing!”

I began to feel very light as he continued to stand there. I felt completely rested, waiting for my precious Prasad. Then, I heard the most endearing voice. It sounded like a bell praising my name, “D-vor-ah,” it lovingly sang. “A-dor-a-ble D-vor-ah.” I swooned in loving ecstasy, still conscious of his presence.

A piece of sweet halvah touched my palms, as I slowly slid from the bench, down on my knees. I instinctively lowered my head, touching his feet. The Divine had called my name.

****

Isn’t it amazing that when you stop searching, you have a chance to be found. The moral of this story is very simple. If you’re looking for God – Stop! Be still. Sit down on a bench, fully at rest, with open palms. Then listen. God will find you and, in adoration, praise your name.

It not necessary to bow down…it’s ONLY necessary to RELAX and open your heart…